I had no idea how burdened I was by this looming, colossal task. It weighed down my my mind, certainly. But my body and soul were also invested in a way that I hadn't really banked on. I know this, for as soon as it was done, I experienced a relief that I can confidently say I have rarely felt before. I'm thinking of...when I climbed to the top of Pikes' Peak...seeing certain prayers answered...pounding the pavement to the finish line of my first running race...bounding down the church aisle moments-married. I never expected to put an exam on par with these heady joys.
In a gesture of happy, worn-out delirium, I spent the rest of the day cleaning out my house from top to bottom. I packed up the piles of library books I've been tripping over for weeks. I THREW MY DESK OUT ONTO THE FRONT LAWN. This was indescribably cathartic. (It was old and decrepit and free in the first place.) So I offered it to the wide, wide world, with a brand-new FREE sign. No one seems to want an exhausted desk.
P.S., several hours later: somebody rolled up in a pickup and actually took it away. They were actually thanking ME for it. Imagine that!