Having this view of the universe certainly complicates dinner conversation. "So, how was your day?" "Oh, fine" is too nonchalant. "Bad" - too pessimistic. "Perfect" - a bit unrealistic. The answer that my husband got tonight was "extremely trying." Which, of course, brought more words, a few tears, and struggle with injustices in this imperfect world. And yet did not even these trials bring me closer to the Author of my days? For,
Also He has put eternity in their hearts,
except that no one can find out the work
that God does from beginning to end." (Ecc. 3:11)
I may still not understand why He wrote certain things in today's script. Mostly, I second-guess my own reactions and responses in situations - was it the right thing? But in any case, He is asking me to wait for the outcome from His hand. My idea of His justice and goodness may one day weave through my life in their beautiful time. Right now, it is more beautiful that I trust in Him.
Meanwhile, rest and respite comes in a variety of serendipitous ways. Rich evenings with friends who accept us with no pretense or falsity. Students who trust me and confide in me about deep things. Impromtu pique-niques together with cheese, bread, and a bottle of rose that is somehow the same color at the setting sky. And that always-safe haven that is married love.
At the risk of sounding simplistic, I think that nearly every day calls for saying "will you forgive me" a few times (to both man and God), letting go of the crappy parts of the day, and savouring the good parts with a thankful heart. Over a crust of bread and a glass of wine, bien sur.
"Go, eat your bread with joy,